Adventures, in Goa.

Narnia would have remained happy and gay forever but for a minor inconvenience. Puddulegum was here.

Now Aslan, despite all his great powers, was not all-knowing. He simply thought– Puddulegum is a good fellow, he deserves a nice afterlife. But how much good fellow Puddulegum was he didn’t know. Puddulegum was happy to be with all others and others were happy and he kept saying that good times will not last forever and others obviously kept telling him that this is not so, we are already dead and there is nothing more to lose. High King Peter asked him to cheer up, Roonwit the dumb wit, Lucy the pussy, all kept working on him until he stopped creating anymore trouble. Not that he stopped thinking that good times will not last forever but he stopped saying so. Some say that even he thought that these good times would last forever but nevermind.

It so happened now that one day, when Queen Lucy was returning home after a nice party with nymphs and dryads and dwarfs after much dancing and merrymaking, she heard someone crying. NOW she felt a little trembling. Who could cry, in such a great land. Suddenly she heard a wail from far off. A centaur had shouted. She didn’t know that the demise had already begun.

Lucy reached there and found Jill. Though Jill first wanted to hide the fact and then didn’t want to tell she told finally that she remembers her parents and brothers and sisters. She explained her troubles thus. She couldn’t go to their land for she was already dead. She didn’t want others to come for they will have to die first and oh, how bad death is. And Aslan says these times will last forever. Will they join her when they died? But then if it happened soon others too will start coming and this new Narnia will die of overpopulation. And then why cant she marry and have children for Aslan says that in this land of dead no NEW life can be generated. And she said a deep thing in between her tears. “Puddulgum was right. Damn it, he always is”.

Lucy gave a sensible suggestion. Then should ask Aslan himself about this. Jill was afraid a bit but Lucy told her that it was not right to cry and be afraid in this land so sooner she got this out of their mind the better.

So they started running to Aslan’s cave. First they couldn’t believe their eyes. Aslan was looking sad! He was talking to a Centaur and didn’t notice that they have come. Finally the centaur was gone and Lucy and Pole went to Aslan and said “Hail Aslan. We come with a problem”. And Aslan growled and said, “Dumbwits cant you see my problems are bigger than yours? Why do you disturb me with your childish and girlish ones?” But soon he composed himself and told that he was sorry and they could say whatever they have come for. After shock and then a bit of steadying Pole told her story. Aslan listened with patience and when she finished he took a deep sigh and said, “I understand but there is little I can do. I could have brought everyone you would care for and everyone they would have cared for and so on, and have cleaned the earth of all life and brought all here (and mind you, my world is big enough to accommodate all, any finite infinity) , but no more. The stars are speaking. There has been a change in guard of the Supreme Council and the new ones are uneasy of my parallel system. Dear ones, my powers are drawing to a close. It was me who stopped you from having thoughts of the other world, I may confess. Soon this world would end. (What!, shouted the two) What would happen to me and all of you I cant say for sure. Perhaps all will dissolve into oblivion, and powers higher than me say that that is the truthful place of all.” The girls said “No,No” and started crying . Even Aslan the mighty dropped a tear or two. He started comforting them. But they wont listen. Soon they ran off to tell the sad news to others.

But the news was in the air. The birds were not chirping as happily, the sky was no more so beautiful, the colours were not as bright. Everything started looking like a painting. Soon the news spread like fire everywhere. The kings of old (for there were no kings now) called a great meeting and Aslan himself came and told them the story. Since all were good people they told him, nevermind, thanks for all the good time you have given.

As everyone in our age knows the dead are only figments of imagination. All the programs are loaded on a computer in the Headquarters of Supreme Council.It so happened that a lazy fellow, Witman the computer operator by that name, was tired after running for Aslan errands. Moreover Aslan was only in the program, but the powers had given him free run for his loyalty in ages past. After the new election there was a proposal to shutdown all non-productive systems and so it happened.

In a moment everything was gone.

—
Written for my sister 3 years back. In Chronicles of Narnia the last book ends in a nightmare which the author tries to pass off as a dream-come-true! More unbearably, my sister liked it. So I ‘completed’ the series explaining what was wrong. It ends with some malice as you see. It is good work!

I saw George Harrison in a video of ‘while my guitar gently weeps’ and immediately loved him. I would like to look like that, say, 15 years from now. He looks like straight out of a Hemingway novel! People in college can check it out. The sound in that video is not so good, listen to the original song for that.

The posts these days are so few not because I am busy, or idea-less, or wordless, but because there is little motivation. Cleaning my ideas, putting a sodium-vapour lamp onto it and structuring it, takes hours of work. I do have time like this, but no reason! To check my hypothesises, I am turning off the comment section.

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Novels I loved recently- Data Tutashkhia (a Georgian character, there is a short clip from a movie made on the book here, quite appropriate). Winner Take Nothing (Hemingway, has some wonderful stories).

Movies- The Interpreter (I particularly liked the ending) and The Last Samurai (the scene of Samurais on streets of Tokyo is the high part).

Happy new year to everyone. It seems I’m back to blog. The readers too are welcomed back.

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, unremembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always—
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.

(From Little Gidding, T.S. Eliot)

As promised, here my blog shuts shop for the next few months. This is the last post for this year.

I close at a happy note. Recent posts (and comments of observantbystander) have been helpful. I have been quite happy today and it seemed the ’road to sanity’ is nearby! I guess I would be better off when I come back to blog again.

So bye to dear readers. 

A lot of people come to this blog looking for things related to ‘Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man’. I should write more about it!

Yesterday evening I was feeling quite depressed. I dug up the Portrait to feel better. Its a bit sad. Stephen is just looking for the way. Those who like(and understand!) the novel know that its only the beginning, and nothing is certain about how his life would turn up. I would have wished to feel more hopeful! But then, its good even to have company!

When I first read the few lines quoted next, I was blown off. I told myself, yay, thats the thing you were lacking- “I do not fear to be alone or to be spurned for another or to leave whatever I have to leave. And I am not afraid to make a mistake, even a great mistake, a lifelong mistake, and perhaps as long as eternity too.”

( But yesterday, the context was different. So there was another statement-
“I will not serve that in which I no longer believe, whether it call itself my home, my fatherland, or my church…”
In short- NON SERVIAM, what Adam is supposed to have said in the beginning and brought us all this ’suffering’. )

Most of the times I feel quite all right. Everything makes sense. The peculiarities of people may seem amusing, but never irritating. But the times I feel bad, I feel bad about everything. I feel worthless, people around me seem to be satisfied with mindlessness, structures seem senseless. There is a hopelessness which interaction with others cannot solve. I got to think and justify my actions before anything else. And then see beautiful nature, or listen to some good music, or read something good for hope. At such moments I dont connect with people around me. Not with family, not with friends. You see, alone in this big world!

The perhaps sad part of all this is that even when I am feeling ok, I cant discount that feeling of being alone. I mean, I am not always worrying about it, but if I stop to think, I wont pronounce it as ridiculous. I guess, feeling bad occasionally happens with everyone, but the inability to reject it is not the common trait!

Right now I am not feeling bad, so you may cheer up! Besides, this too has its conjugate. At times I feel related to everyone! All those who ever were, the humankind. I may be piqued, but even that is interesting and seems worthwhile. But then, it just limits itself to ‘balancing’. These moments are as infrequent as the feeling-extremely-alone ones. But there atleast I am doing better than Stephen!

I read the Portrait assuming the title is ‘the portrait of a artist’. When finally I noticed that it should be ‘an’, and went back to check the title, I jumped up with joy! I could connect with Stephen in his worldview. And Joyce says it goes with artists! (’a portrait of the artist as a young man’) What do you say, I am an artist! And that many of the people I like, like this book. Some official list judged it to be the best book of the century. So, there, I got some company in my worst moments!

Btw, if you cant connect ‘feeling bad about people’ and ‘alone’, Alone by Edgar Allan Poe may help. Even though not strictly true about me, its one of my favourite poems! Link.

(Earlier post about the book- Portrait of Artist, James Joyce )

A! Elbereth Gilthoniel!

That statement brings hope to me! This is not the Third Age and I am not living in the Middle Earth. So I wonder why.

A Elbereth Gilthoniel,
silivren penna míriel
o menel aglar elenath!
Na-chaered palan-díriel
o galadhremmin ennorath,
Fanuilos, le linnathon
nef aear, si nef aearon!

A Elbereth Gilthoniel!
o menel palan-díriel
le nallon sí di’nguruthos!
A tiro nin, Fanuilos!

A! Elbereth Gilthoniel!
silivren penna míriel
o menel aglar elenath!

We still remember, we who dwell
In this far land beneath the trees,
Thy starlight on the Western Seas.

(Elven Hymn to Elbereth.)

I bow to you , O Star-kindler. The ages of old are lost. The world has overturned and much passed. Yet we remember thy beauty and thy grace sung by elves and men of old. May you grant us thy love and kindle hope in our hearts when none remains. May all that is beautiful and kind and glorious remain in your shadows. May you guide us in unlit passages and gloomy days.

A Elbereth Gilthoniel we sing for thee.

Enigma’s ‘Celtic Dream’ song is wonderful. Only music, no words. And yet it seems to talk of things strange and wondrous and mysterious. Of Hope. Of the start of a new adventure. Of beginning of a journey to a forgotten world, and you arent sure if you can trust your own instincts. The sort of situation that if you come across a flying horse you wont exclaim, just look at it wide eyed. And maybe the slow gurgling of a stream, dark and light undulating lands …

Listen to it!

Update - The ‘Return to Innocence’ from Enigma has also entered my list of favourite songs. (19/04/07)

I am in no mood of a long post, so just some points.

Went on foot inside the Mollem National Park, some 10-11 kms to the Dudhsagar Waterfall. Apparently this is not commonly done. People looked at us with interest and appreciation for this. A taxi driver commented to Bharat that we would have liked it . At two places we had to take out our shoes to wade through the Mandovi river.

The surroundings were so beautiful that we jogged in a part, for about a kilometer.

Climbed up near the waterfall on a trail locals use. Walked out through two tunnels to DudhSagar Railway Station. Talked to the station master, and finally came back to Kolem on Goods train in the Guard’s coach. Went to the open part. So, on a train, open in front and sides, through a jungle; enjoyed quite a lot.

Had an interesting talk with an aged couple while going on the local train. Were told a few stories of Portuguese times.

I fell down while walking on a railway line. It was quite slippery, and when I noticed that I had walked a long distance without putting the foot down, I fell, cut my finger and had a few scratches elsewhere.

Saw monkeys (some quite small, one seemed to be about the size of a fist), some langurs, many birds, some foolish foreign tourists who went on feeding monkeys when big boards asked not to do that.

Reached back quite gay and satisfied.

Earlier Post - Travelling for a waterfall